grandma shit on top of the toilet
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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