I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
