Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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