you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
