A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
