Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
