yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
