Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I need to sanitize my soul.
So much Jack, so little girl.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
