I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
