Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
