Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
