super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
