dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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