I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
