so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
