Don't make out with my wife yet
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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