No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Randomize
