News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Randomize
