let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Drake has all the answers
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
