so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
