My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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