I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
