so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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