ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
