What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
