His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
