just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
