So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
