u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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