dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
