I accidentally had phone sex last night
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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