My friends, they love my intelligence
look no pants
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
