Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
