two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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