I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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