Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
