Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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