Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
