he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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