How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
