I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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