she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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