WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
