yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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