yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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