Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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