I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
