so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
There r osticjed everywhere
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
