Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
