Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
