I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
