1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
